


Epiphany

by fnowae



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: ...sort of seriously anyway, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, I don't know which direction the shipping is gonna go in yet oops, I suppose, M/M, also this is wild, just. read, no idea what to tag, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-15 00:59:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11219916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fnowae/pseuds/fnowae
Summary: Besides the fact he's in his car going who knows where with a total stranger, the total stranger is the guy who was supposed to officiate his wedding, which he ran out on. When did his life become a god damn movie?-or-The worst place to have a sexuality crisis is undeniably in the middle of your own wedding.





	Epiphany

**Author's Note:**

> What the FUCK am I doing 
> 
> Alright, a few notes:
> 
> 1\. Champion  
> 2\. Monday is my last day of school wHOOP  
> 3\. Don't ask about the ship tags. I don't know what endgame for this fic is gonna be, but both ships are gonna happen anyways, so why not tag both??  
> 4\. I don't know what this is. Don't ask me what this is. What am I doing.  
> 5\. I've already started chapter two so maybe this will actually get updated?? What a concept. 
> 
> And now...enjoy!

"Where the hell are we going?"

The wind is absolutely ruining Patrick's hair, and he has to reach over and roll the car window up so it will get out of his eyes. He looks out the window as it raises up. All he can see are expansive fields off the side of the highway. He has no idea where they are anymore. He doesn't recognize the area. How long have they been in the car?

There's no response to his question. He tries again. "I said, where are we-"

"No fucking idea!" the guy driving his car (why did Patrick let a complete stranger drive _his_ car, again?) yells over the wind still coming in from the remaining open window. 

"I don't even know you!" Patrick yells back, panic starting to inch into his voice. What is he doing? Besides the fact he's in his car going who knows where with a total stranger, the total stranger is the guy who was supposed to officiate his wedding, which he ran out on. When did his life become a god damn movie?

The guy driving his car flashes him a grin. "I'm Pete!"

"Great," Patrick mutters. Add to the list of annoying things about this situation: this guy is way too cheerful. (Other items on the list include the incessant buzzing of his phone with concerned texts from his family and friends and the fact that he's uncomfortably warm in the overly fancy suit he's still wearing). 

Luckily, unlike his unfortunate companion's attitude, these other two things can be fixed. Patrick turns off his phone and asks, "Can I maybe get a change of clothes?"

"Good idea, I'm burning up in this thing," Pete agrees, gesturing to his own suit with a laugh. "We'll stop in the next town?"

"Yeah, sure," Patrick agrees, leaning his head on his arm and staring out the window. 

"Road sign says twenty miles. That's gonna be like fifteen minutes, is that alright?" Pete asks, eyes scanning the signs on the side of the highway. 

"Yeah," Patrick replies. "I'm not gonna die or anything."

He needs the time to let himself catch up on what's just happened, anyway. 

~*~

And to think this day had started completely normally. 

Well, as normal as could be when it was Patrick's wedding day. It seemed he'd been waiting for this forever, and finally it was time - he was going to get married. 

Okay, so maybe it didn't exactly turn out like that. But hey, at the time, he had no idea what was going to happen. 

Most of the ceremony ended up being a blur; as in, he really can't recall many details, thinking back on it. But of course, the one bit he'd like to forget will forever be stuck in his head. 

It was the point in the wedding where the officiant - who, in the present is assisting Patrick in running away, but in the past was just a stranger who was very adamant about the fact he literally just took a course online to be able to do this - was going through the vows, blah blah, till death do us part, etcetera etcetera. Or at least, that's most of what Patrick got out of it. Maybe he should have been paying a little bit more attention to his own fucking wedding, but he was a little preoccupied at the time. 

With what was he preoccupied? Well, probably the worst possible thing to be preoccupied with at your own wedding: sexuality crisis. 

That's right. In the middle of his own fucking wedding, Patrick was busy realizing that he was kind of _really_ gay. 

It went like this - caught up in going along with the vows, he began to wonder if he actually meant what he was saying. As in, he actually wasn't sure he was truly in love with the girl he was, y'know, about to marry and shit. The more he thought about it, the more he felt like an idiot, because wow, he wasn't, was he? And then he had some fun self-reflection where he thought deeper and realized he didn't think he'd actually ever really been attracted to a woman. Like, sure, he could recognize an attractive girl, but then again, couldn't anyone? 

And then it got worse when his confusion cleared and one thought remained that explained everything: _holy shit, I'm gay_. 

_Like, really_ , his thoughts continued, _I think I find the guy officiating my wedding more attractive than the girl I'm supposed to be marrying. Holy shit._

It was a brilliant revelation, and it felt like suddenly his entire life made so much more sense - so many tiny things were clarified, now that he had had this wonderful and brilliant idea. It would have been perfect, had it not been for the fact that he was currently about to get married. The timing was...slightly inconvenient. Slightly. 

And on the subject of bad timing, he zoned back in to realize that somehow time had slipped away, and they'd made it to the ever-iconic part of the wedding where Patrick was supposed to say "I do". He briefly considered that his sexuality crisis had wonderful comedic timing. 

Patrick was frozen in front of the expectant wedding guests, and as he stared into the eager eyes of his bride-to-be, knowing what he was supposed to say, what he did instead was yell "Fuck!" and run. 

The wedding was rather traditional, which is to say it was in a church. The door was an easy target, and Patrick ran straight down the aisle towards it as fast as he could. Even as people cried out in surprise and watched him run, no one tried to stop him - except the officiant. 

"What are you doing?" he yelled, chasing Patrick down the aisle even as no one else was making a move. 

Patrick didn't respond. Partially because he didn't want to, partially because he was a little out of breath. 

He burst through the door and out to the parking lot. His car was sitting there, and he bolted towards it, but not before the officiant, who was slightly faster than him, caught up and grabbed Patrick by the arm, spinning him around so they're face to face. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" the officiant repeated, looking at Patrick in confusion. "Listen, wedding jitters are fine, but get over it so I don't lose _another_ job, because I swear-"

"I'm gay!" Patrick cut him off loudly. It felt nice to get that out, so he repeated it. "Fucking hell, I'm gay!"

The officiant froze, his hold on Patrick's arm slackening. " _What_?"

"You heard me!" Patrick yanked his arm away. 

"Let me get this straight." The officiant paused to laugh a little at his own ironic wording, then continued, "You...just now realized this?"

"Yes."

"In the middle of your wedding."

"Yes."

"Your _heterosexual_ wedding."

"Okay, I get it."

Now the officiant just looked amused. "And now you're running away?"

"Apparently," Patrick mumbled, eyeing him warily. 

"I'm driving!" the officiant announced almost excitedly, dashing over to Patrick's car and getting in. Patrick cursed his lack of foresight in leaving his car unlocked, but he was too busy trying to process everything to actually stop this stranger from getting into his car. He just got into the passenger seat without saying anything. 

And then they drove. 

~*~

"We're here!"

Patrick is shaken from his thoughts by Pete's cheerful announcement. He looks out the window to see they've parked in front of a clothing store. When he looks around, it appears that this store is basically the only thing in the extremely tiny town they're in. 

"Oh. Wow," Patrick mutters. 

"C'mon!" Pete climbs out of the car, and Patrick quietly follows suit. 

Pete strolls into the store without checking to see if Patrick is following, so Patrick is left just standing outside, collecting his thoughts. 

Technically, he could still turn back. He could leave Pete in the store, as cruel as that would be, take his car, and find his way back. He could pretend this had never happened, go back, and get married like he was supposed to. He could, couldn't he?

No, he thinks. He couldn't. 

With a loud sigh, he follows Pete into the rundown store.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm. sorry
> 
> anyways as always, you can hmu with ideas/headcanons/memes/literally anything I'm lonely on my tumblr: vicesandvelociraptors 
> 
> and yknow comment and shit because I love getting comments 
> 
> thanks for reading!!


End file.
